4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
