the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
