so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
