actually, I'm a sock model
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
