I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
