But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
