singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
