I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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