what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
