talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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