Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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