My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
