Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
