She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
