So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
