I bet he comes in French.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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