so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
