Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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