I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
