It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low