he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?