I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
