Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
