tequila makes me forget i have legs
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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