Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
