i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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