Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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