Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
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She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
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I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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