I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
