This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
