I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize