i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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