Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
