all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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