Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
