Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
