chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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