I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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