I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
