I'm gonna have a badass scar
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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