I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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