I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
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I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
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Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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