A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Im part way to drunk.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
