these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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