Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
