omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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