She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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