I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
