can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
