why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize