she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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