it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
