So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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