so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
